Not Me Monday

Welcome to Not Me! Monday! This blog carnival was created by MckMama. You can head over to her blog to read what she and everyone else have not been doing this week.

You know those moms who drug their kids for long car trips and plane rides. I would never do that. I just gave them some bendaryl his afternoon because they were sniffly and snotty (actual snot, not their attitude) not as a test drive for the Thanksgiving drive. I entertain my kids with stories and songs on the road, for ten hours. *whistling innocently*

Weirdo Cranberry Maker

Really I thought I was on track for this holiday week. Christmas shopping is 99% done and I am on budget. The road trip to Dallas for Thanksgiving is all planned out. I even packed out suitcases and prepared a list of what order to put stuff in the car. One thing I can never prepare for? Turning into a twelve year old around my family.

After being told what I should pack for my girls for the weekend, my mom asked me if I was still bringing cranberries. I said yes and preceded to talk about the recipes I was planning on making (one sweet and one savory). her response: "I am making the classic ones because everyone wants the normal stuff".

Thanksgiving has always been my husband and I's holiday. Not in any offical lovely dovey way, just kind of an unspoken thing. We met Thanksgiving weekend one year and never again spent it apart. At first we went to friends or drove to Mexico or ate out but for the past eight years or so I have cooked. I love cooking and plan my menu early on making something slightly different every year, usually gourmet versions of traditional Thanksgiving foods.

We've spent it alone a couple of times but usually his parents come to us and it works great. They always compliment me on my cooking and even better, do the dishes after. And then they and my husband take the girls out on Friday morning while I finish putting stuff away and do some Christmas shopping. I love it.

The only time my family has spent the holiday with us, my sister and I dissolved into a fight over whether a fancy Hyundai was just as good of a car as a Mercedes (see, 12). The end was my sister storming out of the house and then returning to tell me I wasn't a very good hostess. Can you feel the love?

Now my sister and her husband have laid claim to Thanksgiving. They host a huge feast in Dallas (my hometown) every year for extended family. They are both fabulous cooks and the tales I have heard of the food have my mouth watering. We've never been able to make it because of work or living eighteen hours away. So this year I am excited to finally go.

But part of me is sad. Thanksgiving has always been mine and now it's not. It was the holiday where we stayed home and had time together as our own family of two, then four. For once relatives come to us (I fully expect to travel for Christmas for the rest of our lives because both of our older sisters want to be home). My sister has already been given my mom's Christmas cookie cutters (because "she's the baker in the family") and I am destined to be the eternal visitor, relying on others' traditions.

So when my mom mentioned the cranberries, I did the only reasonable thing in that situation: whined "why am I even bothering then" and hung up the phone after a cursory goodbye (my mom may have been saying "I love you" as I hung up *guilt*). Instantly twelve again, the awkward kid who always says the wrong thing and feels left out.

Sigh. Is it too early to start the Thanksgiving drinking?

Just call me Schadenfreude Mom

scha·den·freu·de (shäd'n-froi'də)
n. Pleasure derived from the misfortunes of others.

This past week at Kindermusick should have been our best ever. The girls didn't cry in fear when it was their turn to be sung hello to. They even communicated the action they wanted, even if I had to translate. When it came time to go to "leaping land" they actually grasped the hands of the people next to them with nary a whimper. As we walked in a circle, I basked in the smiles of the other moms. The smiles may have been a wee condescending but I will take it considering the previous times we have had. So yes, it was close to the best class ever.

But it wasn't my best day at Kindermusik, not by a long shot. See that happened weeks ago when not one, but TWO kids had to be removed because of the absolute fits they threw. It was truly sublime. I know it is awful of me to take pleasure in another parent's misery. But what can I say, I am a schadenfreude mom.

It all started when I began taking the girls out in public. To be a twin mom is to instantly attract attention. And that is doubled when you are a mom like me, who often forgets snacks or to be more honest, a diaper bag all together. People were always nice but I got a lot pitying glances and "i don't know how you do its".

Now that I have what some might call "spirited children" I am always that mom. It's true. I can often be found carrying one child barrel style while frantically searching for the other one. We have almost been kicked put of the library at least three times. And yep, that's my girl Calamity Jane hanging from the monkey bars cackling gleefully in the face of imminent death while I try persuade her sister to come down the slide and stop holding up the line.

All in all, I have come to embrace it. Having gotten over the worry of what people think a long time ago (yep that was me breastfeeding my baby at a bar while drinking a margarita), I am usually able to shrug off any glances or dirty looks and enjoy my kids. When all three of us make it to the end of the day in one piece, I consider it a success.

But that doesn't mean I don't take a little pleasure when someone else is that mom. I will be the first to lend a helping hand, especially since you just gave me the day off.

Blog Spotlight : The Chocolate and The Cheese

Know when you're having a bad day and all you want to do is stick your kid in the crib and drink wine while she cries? Don't you wish you had someone to call and tell that to on those days? Someone who is not a member of the momfia? Well I do. Her name is MP and she rocks. And now you can have her as a friend too because she has a (frequently updated!) blog called The Chocolate and the Cheese.

I love MP's blog because is a peek into her life. Don't you just love getting snapshot of how someone really lives? It is not the polished version that so many people present, just the real thoughts that go through her head. Not only does she cover parenting and marriage with an honest voice she also posts about her loves like baking and reading and dreaming. And now that she has started posting pictures of her cooking, her blog is a visual feast too. I am lusting over the ginger cookies she posted today.

So if you like a blog by a mom that's not a "mommy blog" go check out The Chocolate and the Cheese. Add it to your reader; you won't be disappointed.

Not Me Monday

Welcome to Not Me! Monday! This blog carnival was created by MckMama. You can head over to her blog to read what she and everyone else have not been doing this week. This is my first blog carnival post. By the way that whole phrase is one of those internet things that totally confuses me. I mean if it's a carnival where are the creepy rides, rigged games, and deliciously bad for me food?

Anyway, I haven't read MckMama's blog much yet but it has got be fun. And I found this particular topic perfect for my blog. So here goes...

I didn't hear the girls this morning and put the pillow over my head instead of going to get them up. And I certainly didn't let them watch extra shows because I needed an extra cup of tea and didn't want to referee the Wonder Pets vs. Yo Gabba Gabba throwdown.

We didn't all stay in our pajamas until five minutes before the therapist showed up. And I certainly did not allow Desmonda Drama to go in the other room when she started sobbing about not wanting school time. I totally went right back in and sat in on Calamity Jane's OT session instead of checking Twitter and having another cup of tea.

A mom like me would never give her kids saltines ten minutes before lunch time just to get a few minutes of peace and quiet. And I am way too laid back to get all worked up over getting the perfect Christmas card shot. That's so not me. I would never put my child in time out because she wouldn't look at the camera and was instead banging the ornaments together.

After a day like that I would not have garlic bread and wine for dinner. No, no instead I would cook a nutritious meal and pick the house up instead of drinking more wine and reading during bathtime. No way, not me!

Hating My Job

It is one of those days today. We barely made it out of the house and when we finally did the girls were more irritable and tired after playtime than they had been before. Of course they didn't nap and now they are hanging on me like monkeys demanding one more hug, cracker, episode of the Wonder Pets, etc. I am literally holding them off with my elbow while I try to type this in.

At this moment I am sure you are thinking, well then why don't you get yourself off the computer and play with your kids! Isn't that why you stay home?! And you're right. Except that I have already played several games of dress up, read ten books, prepared two meals and two snacks, built with blocks, broken up fights, enforced time outs, and picked up the house only to have it completely destroyed again. Frankly, I am done.

It's days like this that I think I need to go back to work.

Except that I have no idea what I would do. With two non potty trained kids the same age, I have to make a more than decent salary to make going back to work financially worth it. And I couldn't go back to my old career because the hours were crazy and totally unpredictable. I did it for a few months when the girls were fifteen months and it was exhausting. Not to mention that there would be some days that I wouldn't see the girls for more then ten minutes or so.

And I don't think that working again would be fulfilling for me, at least not more fulfilling than raising my kids. I've never been one of the people that takes pride in a job well done or the satisfaction. I am more of a "work hard while I am here and then walk out the door with a paycheck" kind of gal. My motto about work it: they pay me to be here.

So here I sit, loving every thirty minutes or so of it. Begging the kids to leave me alone for just a minute. Waiting for the opening of the garage door so I can check out. And by checking out, I mean clean up and make dinner, enhanced by a glass of wine. Still wondering what I am going to do when I grow up.

Bad Mom Moments

Today was a banner day for Bad Mom Moments:

2. let Desmonda Drama eat saltines for breakfast and morning snack because that is all she wanted
3. put the RHOA reunion show part two on while I folded laundry
4. didn't feed them lunch because they were full from a morning full of crackers
5. still haven't changed Jane even though I am pretty sure she is poopy because my diapers are still drying
6. told them to go outside without shoes because I was too lazy to put them on