Not This Again : In Search of Sleep

When asked what my daugthers do well the first thing I tend to answer is "sleep". My husband always rolls his eyes at this but really I think it is pretty impressive. They were going down at seven every night and not waking up until seven thirty most mornings. And still taking a two hour nap most days.

Notice I said were. Lately the naps have been few and far between for Miss Calamity Jane. Occasionally she crashes out but usually she plays and continually opens the door and slams it when she sees me. (Desmonda Drama naps in a pack and play in the guest room, for two hours still. Guess who is moving up the favorite child list?). And it's fine, she is three. I know a lot of kids stop napping around this time.

But this morning Calamity Jane strolled on in our room, naked, at six thirty in the morning. Oh hell no. THAT IS NOT ACCEPTABLE.

You see, I need my sleep. You may scoff at the validity of this but my body needs about nine hours a night. I can survive well on eight and just be slightly exhausted on seven but anything less than seven and I am a raging bitch from hell. I can't be held responsible for my actions.

So yeah, infant twins was just awesome for me. Especially since they weren't sleeping through the night until thirteen months. I gained back almost all the baby weight I had lost; I turned into a raving lunatic; I hated the world. It wasn't pretty. It's part of the reason i don't see us having another child unless said child comes with a sleeping through the night at six weeks guarantee.

This morning was a reminder of those insane days. I was so blurred and on edge. I found myself yelling at the girls and putting them in time out for things I would laugh off on another day. Though really girls every morning the toaster has to toast the bread, bread does not come out of the bag toasted as nice as that would be. screaming at me that you want toast is not going to change that fact.

When my husband came out of the room I told him that he was going to have to start getting up with the girls because I couldn't exist on this little sleep.

His suggestion was that I start going to bed earlier but I NEED those four hours between seven and eleven. It's when I clean the house up, readjust my stress levels, and get in my TV. Not to mention it's the only time I have with him. Something's got to give and it's not going to be me getting up before seven.

Now how to explain this concept to a three year old with s stubborn streak and limited verbal skills. That my friends, is the million dollar question.

It's Official, I'm Old

Right now it is seven thirty am and I am the only one in the house awake. When was the last time that happened? Since I had kids? Oh, never! Of course right now my kids are across the country while I am kicking it in LA, so that helps. Why you might wonder am I up at seven am then? That would be because I am OLD.

This morning I kept tossing and turning but was determined not to get up. After all, no kids = sleeping in. So I shut my eyes and fell back asleep three or four times until I allowed myself to look at the clock. I assumed it was around nine, yeah it was seven.

Friday when we got in, I valiantly stayed up until almost twelve (two am my time) but last night at ten thirty I was falling asleep on the couch. My body is just not used to this much activity: Brunch! Two hour urban hike (in flip flops)! Echo Park meandering! Two hour, four course Thai dinner! I was falling asleep on the sofa for about thirty minutes before I just gave it up and established that I was lame and going to bed.

This is all proving my theory that kids age you two years for every one. After all my friends are kidless and though older than me, look younger. There is nary a wrinkle to be seen on their faces. The first night we were here they stayed up until two in the morning with the husband looking up people on Facebook (they all went to college together) and A still got up for and attended a body sculpt class at nine. All I can think is, how in the hell are you doing this?

Sleep is all I crave these days. Vacations have become for sleeping. I am like an eighty year old, wanting to eat early and then go to bed. This is not inline with the husband since he thinks, rightly so, that vacations are for going out and living it up since we don't have to pay a babysitter. Evidently I am the only one who got old. Maybe it's breastfeeding, not kids.

Hopefully naps will be on the agenda in Hawaii because I can't pawn the husband off on friends there.