Monday, May 31, 2010

Fucking Dammit

What? You don't think fucking dammit is the most appropriate title for a mommy blog post? You don't think it is going to get me invited to any private BlogHer parties? It isn't going to win me any nominations for Mommy Blogger of the Year?

But it must be kid appropriate because that is what my kid is saying lately. And how I wish I was kidding.

At least I can comfort myself that Calamity Jane is only pulling the FD phrase, as my husband and I have taken to calling it, at appropriate moments. She is no casual swearer like her parents. She waits until she is really really mad, you know fucking mad. Then she lets it rip. I admit that I am kind of waiting for her to add "Goddammit" as an emphases.

I knew the day was coming; I am only surprised that it took this long. My husband and I are prolific swearers. We can't even blame each other since her phrase is a blending of each of our favorite swears. I do admit that the worst sounding one, fucking, is mine.

While we have tried to tone it down since we had kids, toning it down still leads to a lot of swearing. And having kids is fucking stressful and science just proved that it makes you feel better. But while science is on my side I don't think my mother-in-law is going to buy into that when Calamity Jane lets fucking dammit rip the next time she can't get the puzzle piece to fit.

So where do we go from here? Luckily due to her speech delay only my husband and I seems to really understand it. At least that's what I am telling myself. I didn't notice any stares of death while we were at my town's scenic memorial day parade today. It seems we have a little time to solve the problem.

Right now I am going with ignoring. And shooting stares of death at anyone who laughs like my sister-in-law who said: "Come on, it's pretty funny". Even if yes, it kind of is.

Because she will grow out of this at some point right? Otherwise, I'm fucking screwed.

24 comments:

  1. So funny! Mine can point to my glass and say wine, mama. That can't be good. :)

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  2. I thought fd was the secret password to get INTO all the blogher parties. I'm totally getting ditched at the conference.

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  3. I cuss myself, but I don't let my kids cuss. Have you thought to maybe tell her it's not ok for kids to talk like grown ups and say bad words?

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  4. Personally, I think swearing is a form of cop-out for people who can't articulate themselves well enough otherwise. Let me just say, I hold that belief in principle. Of course, there are times when even I am too dumbed down by a circumstance or frustration to properly articulate myself and a little bit of cursing goes a long way to relieve some pressure. But, I teach my daughter to view the words as the classless dribble of mindless buffoons.... of whose ranks I'm reluctantly associated.

    Regardless of how I feel about cussing, as a whole, my philosophy is warped into meaningless bull-junk when it comes to the opposite sex's use of cuss words. Because, when applied in the right situations, it is one of my greatest turn-ons. Yet, on a normal, day-to-day basis, it is a huge detractor.

    Am I making any sense? Sorry to ramble

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  5. Peggy- Right now we're just trying to ignore it in fear of her getting a reaction and using it more. But if it keeps up we will try that tactic.

    Alex- Well you can always find me, I will be in the special Mother of the Year room! ;)

    Ashley- Ours know what wine and beer are but I figure hey, better they know and know it's just for adults.

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  6. Dave- I think a lot of people feel that way, that searing is low class. It's funny because I get very annoyed by improper grammar and slang used as real words in writing but use swears for emphasis a lot in speech. I am a walking paradox.

    However, I don't think it's polite and usually don't swear in public or around people I don't know well. regardless, I would rather my kids not do it.

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  7. Hi. It's Rebecca Nolen's friend again. I'm so glad I subscribe to your blog. My mom will be, too, when I share this post with her.

    I remember getting a mouth of soap - OK, it was more like a little taste on my tongue - from my grandpa. Does that help get the point across? Or can you get arrested for something like that these days?

    Best of luck! Hang in there!

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  8. Stacy- So great to hear from you again! Thanks for checking the blog out. :)

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  9. barbara FelzenbergMay 31, 2010 at 6:10 PM

    Hi there. I am Stacey's mom. That is my claim to fame. I teach preschool. You can guess what I hear

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  10. This post was too f-ing short... Dammit!

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  11. Hilarious!!! I love it. Like you said, (hopefully) no one but you guys understand it. It's a skill, to know when to use swear words appropriately. Your daughter is advanced.

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  12. Well, as I always say: Them shits is funny!

    I thought it was bad that my kid calls trucks "fucks" and crackers "fuckers". The latter is not a big deal, but she is obsessed with trucks/fucks right now. Everywhere we go, she's pointing and yelling "FUCK" and I respond "Yes, that's a truck, overemphasizing the "tr". That's what we get for being so liberal and open to her cross-gendered interests.

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  13. This was the best thing I read all day. I actually read it twice because I was laughing so hard the first time, I thought I missed stuff.

    Love it.

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  14. I know how hard it is to not react... We never had the f-bomb drop out of our loving children's mouths... but there have been others. The ignore tactic helped us.

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  15. Just wait. My kid told my mom this weekend "Don't let the fucking cat out"

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  16. I feel for you. And no, I'm not judging. I'm too busy looking in the mirror.

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  17. (Let me preface this by saying I am a word nerd. Linguistics is the coolest.) I used to believe that swearing was for people who don't have good vocabularies or couldn't articulate themselves, but you know what? Fuck that shit. Swearing just feels good. And you know what? I have a fucking fantastic vocabulary that I use in normal conversation on a daily basis. But sometimes, Fuck is the most appropriate word for the situation. For me, it just adds another level of depth and meaning that sometimes classier words can't do. And you know what else? I am clueless as to how to handle swearing around my future children. I don't want to give it up, but I also don't want them to do it. At least in public.

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  18. Too a casual bystander like me,it is kind of funny...but at the same time, I'm just waiting for my daughter to let loose with her first f bomb. I feel your pain!

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  19. I love this post. It's a big fear of mine that my non-verbal kid is going to choose my favorite words as a jumping off point when he finally chooses to use actual words. Of course I'll be mortified, but happy he's saying anything at all. And maybe a *little* bit stoked that he's taking after me.

    And I agree- swearing feels good. Half my job is communicating and since I can't really turn to my boss and say "Fuck this nonsense!" it's nice to vent a bit with a nice blue streak when I'm not being paid to "use my words".

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  20. Thanks for all the comments everyone. It helps me not beat myself up too badly.

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  21. Oh goodness. My boys have both said similar things at times and thankfully with their speech delays no one understood but their dad and I. But still, its quite disconcerting.

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  22. My husband makes no apologies for his swearing. I don't normally mind but I must openly declare: if this kid's 1st word is fuck, I will fucking kill him.

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  23. Oh no! My oldest said sh*t after hearing it in a movie at 3. I felt like mother of the year. I hope it passes.

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  24. too funny, it made me remember when Dylan was not even 2 and he said "Jesus Christ" at which I responded with a sharp "DYLAN" to which he answered "What? I not say God Dammit"

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