Honey Don't Bother Mommy, I'm Too Busy Having a Life

The twittersphere has been, well, atwitter with talk about Jennifer Mendelsohn's article for the New York Times on mommy blogging. Written in a somewhat snarky tone, the writer who is herself a mommy blogger, wrote about her experiences at Bloggy Bootcamp. Which to be honest sounds kind of awesome. They had me at sippy cup mimosas. Okay they had me at mimosas.

Since I ignore my kids and read blogs all day it was all I had to discuss with my husband last night. So of course he had to read the article for himself. And his reaction which boiled down to "this is sexist" is why I love him. It really hit the nail on the head. Would an article about any other genre of blogging, let's say a review of one of the meetings at SXSW, include a rebuke of parents spending their free time blogging?

These are valid criticisms of the mommy blogger industry (exposing your kids, trading your time for swag) ones that have been raised by several self identified mommy bloggers and at blogging conferences. But that kind of discussion would be better suited to a news article, not a style piece. Which begs this question, what was the point of this article? If it wasn't an honest look at the world of mommy blogging was it just for something for people to have to chuckle over: "Oh those silly moms and their nattering on about their kids lives. They are so naive."

What the article doer refer to but overshadows with its snarky tone, title, and illustration is that the value so many women have found in blogging. Yes a lot of women blog about their kids and their lives as moms because it is the largest part of their lives. For some it's their job. And when your job consists of clients who scream at you for their cereal then throw it on the floor it's great to find a virtual world of coworkers out there who understand. Blogs, twitter, etc are fantastic sources of support for modern parents, many of whom feel isolated from the moment their child arrives.

For me blogging is my hobby. It's what I do to blow off steam, to engage my mind, to relive the stress of raising twins with special needs and crazy personalities. I am not trying to build a brand, unless that brand is being cynical and sarcastic which I am sure sponsors love. But if I was, who cares? Don't we moms deserve to make money when we can, especially in rough economic times? The article compares the blogs unfavorably to the Tupperware parties of our parents' generation which again begs the question: what's wrong with Tupperware or any other way people can make extra money doing something they enjoy?

I'm a mom. And I blog. And I don't think it deserves being made fun of.

Links to several people who wrote more eloquently on this subject:
Grumbles and Grunts: In Defense Of Mommy Blogging
Pundit Mom: An Open Letter to the New York Times
The Social Path: Why moms shouldn't feel guilty about blogging
Mamma Loves: You May Write For the NYT But You're a Mom Blogger Too

If A Blog Goes Unread, Does the Free Stuff Cease to Exist?

Over the past couple of days I have been questioning myself on the point of this blog. And as I delve more into the blogging world the questions only multiply. It was all so much simpler when I just went into my folder of bookmarks and checked to see if anyone had updated the blogs I read. Yes not only do I do not have a blogroll, I don't even use a reader. I kick it old school. But I don't think my old schoolness is going to hack it in this world of niche blogs, twitter updates, and blog badge buttons.

Who knew that blogging was such an industry? Well maybe I did but I don't think I understood the scope of it. That you could go from posting about free diaper samples to appearing on the Tyra show and blogging about your free brand new luxury fridge. I am pretty amazed by these people but also somewhat annoyed by the gimmie-gimmieness of so many blogs. Yeah if you have a blog devoted to it, it makes sense but pimp outs every other post on a nonniche blog bugs a bit. It makes me feel kind of dirty. And yeah, a little jealous. Who doesn't love free stuff. So while I admire all the woman who have made themselves into an industry it definitely is intimidating.

But they are still out there, the blogs I enjoy reading the most. The ones that are simple windows into people's lives. They are ones that I came across by chance or links from something I already loved. And while I may not always agree with them (Mandajuice what's up with the Palin love?) I appreciate that they let me glimpse into their world, that they are willing to offer up the unvarnished truth about parenting and just life in general. That is what I love about blogging, what draws me to it now.

And of course the opportunity to make new friends and have an online support system appeals to me. Maybe even the most, especially now that I have left behind my MSP posse and usage of Livejournal among my imaginary internet friends seems to be dying down. But as I read all these blogs I feel like if I want that community I need a time machine to go back to when I had the girls in 2007. If only I had started a blog then and attended BlogHer and networked, etc. I wold be set. What was I thinking? Well, not much at all. I could barely function. My days were spent crying and downing bags of Chocolate Peanut Butter Chex mix while two little creatures fed on my boobs. Taking on the blogsphere just wasn't on the agenda. Now I have to wonder, is it even possible to break into these groups and communities that have been formed. Am I just taking the trials of mom dating to the virtual level?

But at the end of the day, even if this blog goes nowhere, if it stays unread (though thanks to the pimp out from my SIL I think at least three people have actually seen it now) it feels good. I used to be a decent writer and I think that kernel of me is still buried in there somewhere under the sleep deprivation and devotion to two not so benevolent dictators. It may not get me a free video camera (but call me anytime Flip, those cute twin moments are few and far between so it would be great to preserve them so I can replay them on those afternoons when I am ready to put them on Craigslist). But perhaps it will give me some sanity and a small piece of "me" back.