Over the past couple of days I have been questioning myself on the point of this blog. And as I delve more into the blogging world the questions only multiply. It was all so much simpler when I just went into my folder of bookmarks and checked to see if anyone had updated the blogs I read. Yes not only do I do not have a blogroll, I don't even use a reader. I kick it old school. But I don't think my old schoolness is going to hack it in this world of niche blogs, twitter updates, and blog badge buttons.
Who knew that blogging was such an industry? Well maybe I did but I don't think I understood the scope of it. That you could go from posting about free diaper samples to appearing on the Tyra show and blogging about your free brand new luxury fridge. I am pretty amazed by these people but also somewhat annoyed by the gimmie-gimmieness of so many blogs. Yeah if you have a blog devoted to it, it makes sense but pimp outs every other post on a nonniche blog bugs a bit. It makes me feel kind of dirty. And yeah, a little jealous. Who doesn't love free stuff. So while I admire all the woman who have made themselves into an industry it definitely is intimidating.
But they are still out there, the blogs I enjoy reading the most. The ones that are simple windows into people's lives. They are ones that I came across by chance or links from something I already loved. And while I may not always agree with them (Mandajuice what's up with the Palin love?) I appreciate that they let me glimpse into their world, that they are willing to offer up the unvarnished truth about parenting and just life in general. That is what I love about blogging, what draws me to it now.
And of course the opportunity to make new friends and have an online support system appeals to me. Maybe even the most, especially now that I have left behind my MSP posse and usage of Livejournal among my imaginary internet friends seems to be dying down. But as I read all these blogs I feel like if I want that community I need a time machine to go back to when I had the girls in 2007. If only I had started a blog then and attended BlogHer and networked, etc. I wold be set. What was I thinking? Well, not much at all. I could barely function. My days were spent crying and downing bags of Chocolate Peanut Butter Chex mix while two little creatures fed on my boobs. Taking on the blogsphere just wasn't on the agenda. Now I have to wonder, is it even possible to break into these groups and communities that have been formed. Am I just taking the trials of mom dating to the virtual level?
But at the end of the day, even if this blog goes nowhere, if it stays unread (though thanks to the pimp out from my SIL I think at least three people have actually seen it now) it feels good. I used to be a decent writer and I think that kernel of me is still buried in there somewhere under the sleep deprivation and devotion to two not so benevolent dictators. It may not get me a free video camera (but call me anytime Flip, those cute twin moments are few and far between so it would be great to preserve them so I can replay them on those afternoons when I am ready to put them on Craigslist). But perhaps it will give me some sanity and a small piece of "me" back.