Saturday, July 31, 2010

Someday This Will Be You

It's easy to feel old in a college town. Every place is packed with hipsters and cooing couples and smartly dressed collegiates reading the paper and sorority girls who can still wear short shorts. It's not the best place to be out with your kids. Especially if your kids are not the adorable kind who happily drink their organic juice and color quietly while occasionally dancing adorably to the latest hip music playing.

Unfortunately my kids are more the screaming, running type. And they insist on wearing the souvenir t-shirts my parents buy them. I am not convinced those t-shirts aren't a cruel joke my mom plays on me, revenge for all those times I insisted on wearing thrift store clothes instead of the Gap outfits she bought me.

It was against my better judgment that we went out to eat with the girls in downtown today. We started off badly by getting ice cream before the meal. I implored my husband to get food to go but he was lulled into a false sense of security by the girls' sugar comas. About ten minutes after we had ordered but five minutes before the food arrived, all hell broke loose. Soon we were holding onto them for dear life while anxiously looking for someone to put our food in to go boxes.

As we left some of the hipsters smoking out front gave us what I would have loved to be resentful glances but were really more of pitying "I will never be you sad rejects from American Beauty". Oh what I longed to do was turn to them and say "Someday This Will Be You!!!" like an evil fortunate teller from an avant garde Disney film.

But it is true hipsters, someday this may very well be you. How do I know you might ask? Well I was once you. I dated experimental musicians and quirky artists. I worked at an independent bookstore. I lived in a San Francisco loft. And a real loft not just one gussied up with stainless steel and exposed ductwork. I stayed out late and went to shows and bars that close at 5am and wore tight clothes and drove a Vespa.

Yep that was me and now I am a stay at home mom in the Midwest. Oh how the mighty have fallen. So yes hipster kids, this may very well be your life someday. Perhaps in the greatest irony you and we will both stay here and someday my girls will be the ones standing outside the restaurant giving you pitying looks as you drag your screaming children by.


  1. How old are they & why can't you go out to eat with them? You didn't really explain what they are doing that made you have to leave? Do they just start freaking out & screaming or something?

  2. HAHAHA I was soooo one of those teenagers. I often make the joke that the H.S. version of me would be ashamed of who I've become. Ah, the circle of life :-)

  3. She said they were the running, screaming type Peggy, so I'm sure that's what they were doing.

    I'm not a hipster, but I've given those looks, but only to ambivalent parents who don't seem to notice their kids have their hands in other people's food.

  4. I've pulled out the "I used to be you" to 16 year olds in clothing stores. They think they're so superior with their flat little stomachs and thighs sans cellulite but what they don't know is that some of them are going to grow fat asses because they'll oneday be working 80 hours a week in high stress jobs that make them actually sick so that they're completely robbed of any extra energy they might have had should they miraculously find time to exercise when they're nou working. The particular girls I pulled this line on didn't believe me so I pulled out my phone, fired up the Flickr app and showed them a picture of me at 16. I think I ruined their day. It made me feel good. :-)

  5. OMG casacaudill!!!!! I must remember to keep old photos on my phone for just this reason. You are my hero today!

  6. LOL! And Bravo casacaudill! Just a guess, but the first commenter doesn't have kids, am I right?