Tuesday, March 23, 2010

One Step Foward, A Gaping Silence of a Step Back

It's a beautiful day and we should be outside soaking up the sunshine but the girls enjoyed an expanded quiet time today and post quiet time absolutely calls for Elmo and/or the Wonder Pets. And who am I to challenge the routine. So instead of picking up the clothes project I started during not-naptime, I em enjoying the weather by myself. And by enjoying the weather I mean I turned the computer so it is facing the window.

The few glimpses of the sunshine I do catch taunt me with whispers of "good mothers would be outside teaching the children how to ride tricycles." Oh sunshine, good mothers would buy their daughters tricycles instead of spending all the money on wine and fancy laptops with surprisingly subpar battery life. Why fight it?

As if the sunshine wasn't enough I am torturing myself by reading mommy blogs. I have a love hate relationship with "mommy blogs". For me that term refers to blogs written by "good mothers" who often post pictures of their children and their accomplishments along with recipes and pictures of their decorated homes. So sadly most of my friends with your hilariously awesome snarky blogs, you are bad parents like me. Sorry to be the one to break it to you.

Anyway, I don't know why I love reading the mommy blogs but I do. They are like visual candy for me and make me happy in the same way that the Sound of Music does. They are just so good. But sometimes they make me sad. Because their kids are all so adorably verbal. Evidently in their worlds children throw out amusing bonmots about the tres hilarious things their preschool classmates do during the day. Dinnertime is rife with observations about crafts and story time and made up adventures.

Contrast this with our own tortured mealtimes where we try to eek out anything about the girls' day. We ask all sorts of leading questions and I often end up doing a call and response where I say something that happened and the girls then repeat it to Daddy. It's crushing.

Sometimes it feels like we have come so far and really we have. My sister heard my daughter speaking words to her for the first time last week. That's huge. I need to remember that. And treasure it when we're suffering through another silent supper. Oh well, at least they aren't screaming through it like they did before we instituted the three bites and you're excused rule.

And I am just going to pretend that the mommy bloggers spend hours making up their child's observations. Poor, poor deluded mommy bloggers.


  1. Following now. :)
    I can't wait til my little one is speaking and I can record my observations of the things she says. Someday. Someday I will be that kind of mommyblogger. Right now I'm more of a "going-effin-nuts" mommyblogger. Ha.

    PS love the "no grandparents" policy.

  2. Mommy blogs by chicks who fart sunshine and douche with rainbows suck ass. If I wanted to hear about your bullshit made up fantasy life I would watch Leave it to Beaver on Nick at Nite!

    Let's hear the real stuff from mommy bloggers and daddy bloggers. Our kids can be little bitches and assholes and so can we. Tell the truth yo! Tell the truth. Peace out...

  3. Psh. Just remember, those awesome sparkly mommy blogs only post the good stuff for the most part. There are plenty of bad things that likely happen through out their day that they don't post because it would throw off their perfect, shiny, perfect portrayal of having the almost life and family.

    Keep being real. It's more endearing and I'd rather read about something that doesn't seem like it came off a Disney family TV show.

  4. Mommy blogging is a tricky area. I do get tired of hearing the delusional stories about how great little Suzy is and how she is reading 7 grades above the rest of the class. But then if you complain and are honest about how hard motherhood really is, that you crave a minute of being the "old" you, or that your kids are being bratty...you get some skankazoid hant that says, "Well, I've been trying to conceive for 89.3 years and you better be glad that you are able to have children. I'd give a big toe to be able to bear fruit from my womb." Okay,that's an exaggeration, but I got something similiar, but a lot meaner.

    It is refreshing when Mommy bloggers are open. Like I said....it's tricky, tricky.

  5. LOL! Everything in this post made me laugh.

    "Good mothers would be outside teaching the children how to ride tricycles": Have soooo been there!

    "Oh sunshine, good mothers would buy their daughters tricycles instead of spending all the money on wine and fancy laptops with surprisingly subpar battery life": So, so true!

    And the mommy blogs, OH the mommy blogs! I too read entirely too many and loathe seeing their perfect little crafts and perfect little homemade clothes and perfect little parties--all while plunking my kid in front of Wonder Pets for some peace & quiet or sending him outside in the backyard while I "watch" him from the window.

    *Sigh* Oh, the mommy guilt. Parenting is hard.

    Thank you for being refreshingly honest--I can relate! Can't wait to meet you Thurs!

  6. Ahh the mommy guilt. Been there. Done that. Over and over again. Like someone else in the comments mentioned.. They don't post everything.

    Like for example they don't post that sometimes they have to clean poop from the walls and all the times the kiddos are in timeouts. They only post that omg my little johnny is learning a fifth language and he's already reading and he's barely three years old!

  7. "I em enjoying the weather by myself. And by enjoying the weather I mean I turned the computer so it is facing the window."

    This made my day Why? Because it's so something I would do. Snark on, mama.

  8. Ha ha ha ha! And the comments, too. And here I am, not EVEN facing the sunshine with my laptop. Because I might get sun in my vampire eyes.

    Our kid was late on everything, to the point that I don't know what's normal. We were with a 1-year-old who responded "Baa" when I asked what the sheep says, and I said to her mom, "Ha! It sounded like she actually answered me!" And the mom was like, "Um, she did. Loser." Ok, the "loser" was silent and implied.

  9. Just sitting here reading this on this gorgeous sunny spring day, in the dark basement while my little cutie watches the Disney channel. Gotta get outside.

  10. Nothing wrong with delusion.

  11. Can I just say that I love your honesty and If one more person tells me to just "be positive and look on the bright side of things, or life is all about attitude"...I will cut my ears off.
    Those people don't live what we live.
    This IS us making the best of it :)