Friday, January 8, 2010

You'd Like Me, You'd Really Really Like Me

Happy New Year! Happy 2010!

Yeah, I know that was last week but time moves slowly around here. Technically my new year didn't even start until Monday January 4th because who can start all those healthy new years resolutions on a weekend? Especially on a weekend when one has full time free babysitting (parents in town). And especially not on a New Year's Day that was preceded by a NYE that involved ten straight hours of drinking.

But I am not going to bore you with a list of my resolutions, which are quite typical: save more, eat less, be happier, blah blah blah. I am just going to share one goal with you.

Make some damn friends.

Before you write me off as some internet weirdo, though how I love you my internet friends (shout out to LJ and Twitter), I actually do have a great group of friends. You know that mythical group who has casual fun playdates, mommy happy hours, tries new restaurants, goes on girls weekends, and has no drama? They exist and they are my group of friends. Unfortunately they all live far, far away now.

Before I left i should have gotten them to write me a recommendation letter:

To Whom It May Concern:

Please consider befriending Guavalicious. She will be happy to have you over. Often she has food available and always has coffee, even if you have to make it yourself. If you like to go out without your kids, Guavalicious is your girl. She likes to get out of the house everyday and will laugh at your jokes and be there when you need her.

Because, here in our new town, I am wondering if I have halitosis or a freaky vibe since people avoid me like the plague. Okay, that might be overstating it. It's more like I don't exist. Women here travel in giant packs of strollers and snacks and lots of kids (I swear you are not allowed to only have one child and I count the girls as one since they came at once).

They take up all the chairs at the library. Classes are filled with fast friends. Play groups are arranged and full. The girls and I circulate around the edges and I smile and hand my contact info to people I connect with. But no one calls. I imagine they are all off on a group trip to a pick your own farm.

So I kind of gave up and now I pull out my iTouch or book when the girls are happily engaged somewhere. I speed in and out of preschool drop off (eager for my alone time) and pickup (eager to get them home for nap). In the evenings, the husband and I are watching the entire Battlestar Galatica series and I am reading a ton more (three books already this year).

However, I still miss friends so I am back on the horse. Random knocking on doors didn't work. Handing out my email and phone number to strangers with kids hasn't worked. But I will keep at it. I will join moms groups, I will keep talking up random parents, I will start lingering at the preschool. I have lowered my standards: I will play Bunco, do scrapbooking, and go to a paint your own pottery place. The only thing I draw the line at is Bible study.

Bring it on 2010.


  1. Ugh, I would totally have you over if I lived in CoMO. I'm kind of kicking myself that we were never able to really meet when you still lived here!

  2. Good luck! If you want/need a letter of recommendation I'll totally draft one for you. It would sound something like this:

    To Whom It May Concern:

    Guavalicious is awesome. If you don't befriend her now, before she has a large posse you will regret it. Soon enough her dance card will be filled with the awesome things she likes to do: eat sushi, drink beer, try new restaurants, shop, read great books, and most importantly, be a great friend. Give her a chance; she'll have you laughing your ass off in no time at all. It would be your loss!

  3. This is what I can offer you:
    Knitting Groups. Seriously. When I moved here 2 years ago I didn't have any friends and didn't click with any people at work. I was a new knitter so I looked up knitting groups in the area and tried out a few until I found one I liked.
    Come and join us. We are a very open group of all ages, several people from Texas and Oklahoma and boast no bible thumpers. And we like to drink.
    I know you are looking for other moms with young children but this is a good place to start to network.
    So, I personally invite you to come out and meet us and I will teach you to knit.
    Fridays 5pm-7pm Happy Hour at the yarn shop(College & Bussiness Loop) (BYOB)
    Tuesday nights 6:30-10ish at Kaldis (9th and Cherry)

  4. I say go knit. We need someone in the family to take over the sock making. :)

  5. Thanks Becky! I know you have extended the invitation before and this time I will take you up on it. Are you going this Tuesday? Where can I buy basic supplies?

  6. LOL- we are living parallel lives! I too have handed out family buisiness cards to strangers with my contact info. Only here, there are no packs of roving stroller moms ignoring me. There appear to be no play groups, or classes. And I swear, there is a mom I see at both kids schools for drop off, I smile, say hello and she looks at me like she has never seen me before. I do have one hope, another newbie who seems to hate it here as much as I do, maybe more. Maybe we will be friends? Good luck!

  7. I think about you frequently Erin; at least I know someone else out there knows my pain. It is definitely a weird position to be in. I am thinking about taking a trip back to MSP just to reassure myself that I am not offputting. ;)

  8. Ugh no kids here but i totally relate. I moved to SD about 8 months ago - and no friends yet! i've tried and well my friends from LA cant drive every weekend and i tried but hubby put a stop pretty soon Lol. I just found your blog from SITS.

  9. Thanks for finding my blog Maria. Hope San Diego gets better for you soon. I always found it so different than LA. Funny how they can be so close yet have such a different vibe.