The pacifier fairy made a special delivery this week for Calamity Jane: a Zoe (of Sesame Street fame) doll, plus an extra in case Zoe joins Mom's mobile and those elusive puzzles pieces in the Littles' world. But every time we try to get her to make the trade she shakes her head and runs for her crib to assure herself that the paci is still there. And me, I just go "oh well, maybe tomorrow" while my husband glares at me.
After all it was it was my idea to offer this trade and the husband and I have been pumping it up for weeks. At three Calamity Jane is still a hardcore pacifier addict and even though I love it too i really do think the time has come to give it up. We thought she was weaning herself off of it but no such luck.
Hence the pacifier fairy idea. I was emailing someone about Calamity Jane's deep love for the pacifier and a google ad came up on my side bar for Paci B Gone. Naturally I trotted myself on over to check it out. The price tag seemed a little high and i didn't know if a duck would motivate Miss C. Jane enough so I decided to forge ahead with just the story of the fairy.
But now I can't bring myself to do it. Life seems so hard for Calamity Jane sometimes. Her brain does not process things the way "normal" brains do. Her thoughts move a million times quicker than her mouth. She soldiers on but I can see the toll it takes on her. Sometimes she just puts her arms out and wriggles her hands in frustration. It is as if she is reaching out for something to grasp onto, something physical she can use to express herself. Her comfort in the hardest moments is always her pacifier.
The little voice comes into my head:
"what does it really matter? She JUST turned three!
"And it's not like she carries it around with her, it barely leaves the crib".
"I wouldn't trade my paci for that Zoe doll, it's barely three inches tall. Better to put it off and find something better."
"Let's just do this next week, or after the move, or when's she four. What's the rush?"
I wish I could just outsource this but it's not fair to make my husband the heavy especially considering the long term implications. Can't you just see this being discussed in therapy... "it was the one thing that made me happy and they RIPPED it away from me!" I just don't want to give up being the hero. The supermom who knows just what to offer to make her happy.
Perhaps the Paci B Gone system is that much for a reason. If nothing else it gives the parents assurance in large charts and happy stickers that you are doing the right thing. The bright colors practically scream "You're a good parent!", what more could I ask for? Besides a professional pacifier wrangler. Ah, new career idea. I am totally taking that up. After I break Calamity Jane's heart.
OK...so I was so excited about our paci triumph that I almost blogged it!!
ReplyDeletePaci has been my son's bestie since the nurse gave it to him at his circumcision...(fair trade right?) Not just any paci...only those gumdrop ones that we had to order from Hawaii!
Well...I like you said maybe tomorrow, maybe tomorrow...knowing that he's almost 3 and the time has got to come...
So...after various trades, tricks, etc...I decided to just wait on the right time.
Guess what? The other night he threw it out of his bed...I couldn't find it in the dark...so...I simply said that's it - it's gone. I can't find it. He fussed for maybe 10 minutes for two nights and now it's over!
A mother's intuition is priceless. The right time will come!! You can do it!!!
We took Hannah's paci right before she was 3 but hers was with her ALWAYS. We told her the dogs ate it. She was so old at that point that that made total sense to her that they were all gone. I felt worse than her! lol
ReplyDeleteokay, I am 33 and I still sleep with my baby blanket that my grandmother made for me, and the same blanket that my mother and father brought me home from the hospital in.
ReplyDeleteI gave up the thumb sucking at an age of single digits but I still have blankie...... Blankie has been my protector (throught my abusive step father, and ex fiancee), my constant (he never cheated, hit me, or packed his belongings and left while I was at work)and my tear wipe, heart broken, feelings hurt caregiver. He looks like a rag- but has always been that source of comfort when life has given me lots of lemons...... If your daughter feels safe with the paci and it is used as a night time sleeping aid, or when she gets all wacked out and needs a little paci time... let her have it..... she will out grow it, when its time.......
I just don't think that it's a big deal that she has a soothie. Some kids have thumbs, some have blankies and Jane happens to have a paci in her crib. I've just decided that I enjoy my kid having a paci at night as she sleeps so well, so I'm sticking with it! You might want to consider it as well:) Love ya!
ReplyDeleteI know we are almost there with our youngest. Probably this summer. Not looking forward to it at.all!
ReplyDeleteok so I can't sleep and I got up and started reading and so, here I am. I am not a mother, first and foremost. I would love to be, but that has not been my lot in life. So anyway, why must CJ give up her binky right now? Is there some sort of expiration date on it? I only ask, because I had a binky until I was in kindergarten. Apparently, I gave it up to go to school and retrieved it when I came home. I only remember that at one point, my pediatrician traded me a handful of jelly beans for it and that was that.
ReplyDeleteShe won't suck it forever; she'll decide when it's time or she will be a little older and will understand the trade.
I can attest to the fact that I don't chew my nails or suck on pens and I am 40 ;)